“Happiness is a choice, not an outcome”
I grew up in a double wide trailer in a little city called Algona, Wa. My sister and I were raised by our mom who was a single mother. My dad left when I was three years old and moved a few hours away. My sister is three years older than me and definitely the smarter one of the two. We were extremely poor growing up, often wearing hand me down clothes and going to the food bank once a week. On holidays the food bank would drop food at our front door and people would bring us clothes. My mom loved to cook and would cook for us every night, but never ate with us. If you didn’t finish your food, you weren’t getting anything else to eat. Looking back, I am so grateful that we were poor because it embedded gratitude in me for all things. I appreciate things when I get them because I know what it’s like not to have them. I didn’t take possessions for granted when I was a child. When I got something I took good care of it. I remember coming home from school and immediately taking my “school” clothes off and hanging them up and changing into what I called “play” clothes. I protected the things I had and kept them in pristine condition because I knew I wouldn’t get another of whatever it was. I think many people assume that growing up poor would be a bad thing when really, I think, it was a blessing in many ways. It taught me how to be happy with the bare minimum. As children we didn’t care that we didn’t have the nicest stuff, we just enjoyed what we did have. It taught me not to take things for granted. It taught me the value of ownership. It taught me to use my imagination. It taught me to be grateful for what I did have rather than focus on what I didn’t have. It taught how to appreciate the little things. On the downside being poor taught me to hoard things. I still have clothes from high school because there is nothing wrong with them. Abundance in any facet of life was not a thing growing up. It taught me to be extremely cheap. I remember a trip my dad took me on with my step family when I was 9 or 10. At the beginning of the trip each kid was given $100 and told to spend it on whatever we wanted. While the other kids were buying souvenirs and candy, I bought a little holder that clipped to my pants to hold my money. I didn’t spend any of it. At the end of the trip my dad asked what I bought with my money because I didn’t have anything to show for it. I opened my little holder and pulled out $97. I told him I couldn’t spend it and that I was just happy that he brought me on the trip. I learned how to be happy with nothing and that happiness is a choice.
I want people know that they aren’t alone in their struggles and that there is a way out.